Finnish kursailuAn act to refuse serving/offering in modest manner to show courtesy.

This phenomenon is not easy to explain. Basically when someone offers or serves you something, you don't accept it immediately but refuse at first, making a reason how you are so much trouble you are to the one who served you in the first place. And even after you accept, you have to show in every way how much trouble you have caused. This can be happen in any situation but it's especially prevalent in coffee servings. Even so much that in Tavastia region this forms a kind of ritual. When the hostess has served coffee, she informs everybody that the coffee has been served. Nobody responds and the hostess repeats a few times. Then she requests directly someone to take coffee first, providing a reason (like one has come far away). Eventually someone bites the bullet and takes coffee first, downplaying themselves. And when there's pastries available, one should never hoard those treats but taste them modestly. This ritual was actually researched by an American anthropologist in the 70s. The ritual is an extreme form of *kursailu* though. Usually when someone comes to visit and you ask if they want coffee, they might answer "Ei minua varten tarvitse keittää" meaning "You don't have to brew (coffee) for me". This is the most descriptive sentence of *kursailu* and basically means "Sure, I can have coffee if you want it too but don't brew specifically for me".